Character Encyclopedias & The Wedding People
hello everything is godawful but we are here!!
I’ve been noodling for the last couple months about using this Substack a lot more this year, and not necessarily just for “here is my official author newsletter updates” but for meandering thoughts about things that have made me happy or things I’m thinking about, like other folks do so well. I actually find newsletters that are sent out on a regular basis deeply comforting (like those from Alicia Thompson or Lauren Kung Jessen or Kerry Winfrey just for a few examples!), yet I’ve felt some weird hesitance about doing it myself, mostly for dumb reasons that I at first typed out here but then deleted because y’all don’t need to read all that. I’m neurotic, the end!
I’ll still send official author update emails when something Real is happening, and include any tidbits I have whenever I have them. But for all the newsletters in between, I’d love to think of some kind of clever format or theme to link them all together…but haven’t landed on anything yet, and I feel itchy to talk today, so here I am.
Generally, I’d love to give updates about what I’ve been working on writing-wise that month, or whatever general writing thoughts I’m mulling over, followed by other things that I’ve loved/would recommend/have made me think recently. So let’s go!
Writing Life
I’m currently drafting an as-yet-unnamed, as-yet-uncontracted adult romance, and I’d love to talk more about drafting in another newsletter, but today I want to talk about that moment last week when I was trying to come up with a name for a side character, and it struck me that I have reached the point of truly starting to forget half the names I’ve already used. Like, I tried to squint through my memory and realized I couldn’t even remember some of my main characters’ names lolol which is WILD, because when you are in the depths of writing a book, you LIVE with these people. You know their names better than your own. And yet! I have apparently now written so much shit that even my dearest friends are starting to drift away.
So I started a new document, looked through some old manuscripts, and began making an Anita Kelly Universe Character Encyclopedia. I’d heard of other writers doing this for themselves before, but like many things, had never thought about actually doing it myself because why would I take myself seriously.
The document itself is simple: the most detailed I’ve gotten with it is deciding to bold main characters (and include the full book titles in their entries alone; everything else is shorthand). I also decided to alphabetize by first name which went against all of my librarian instincts BUT not everyone has last names! It’s mostly just characters (and animals) right now, along with specific place names if they’re places I made up. It’s still not at all complete; there are quite a few books/novellas/etc I haven’t opened yet to comb through.
But the ones I have, especially the ones I haven’t looked at in a while? I forgot Aiden’s last name (even though Kai calls him McCarstle a hundred times in the book!), AND the fact that he walked dogs! I forgot Mal had a sister, or that Lily had a group of friends from work she did karaoke with. When I look back at any given book, I always think about the core part of each main relationship—London walking back to the hotel from the studio with Dahlia; Ben and Alexei walking on the trail—but I apparently forget about all the other little details that make up a world, that I had so much fun fleshing out in the moment. I want to remember the name of Mae’s UPS driver! They love their delivery people!
Love & Other Disasters released three years ago this month, an anniversary I meant to commemorate with a giveaway online but forgot to, but the point is: I am always feeling these days like I’m not producing enough fast enough, like I’m failing, maybe because of capitalism, maybe because of my own inherent issues, maybe because that one author just announced another new book and haven’t they already announced at least three this year? But making this document helped me remember all that I have produced over these last three years. And it’s a lot! I think what was so important and fun about creating this document was that there was no value attached to any of it: nothing to indicate how well-crafted any of these characters were; how well-received the books they reside in were; whether readers liked them; whether they were “necessary” to the plot or the pacing.
The only point was: I made them up.
And look at them here now, all together. Look at how many of them there are! Even if they’re only on page once, I want them here. I want all of them at the Google Doc party.
I encourage every writer to do the same, even if you’ve only written one book, or started to write anything, just to have this feeling. It is also, of course, helpful for the original reason I started making it. For instance, I realized I am apparently obsessed with the name Olivia.
I now know I have to change Olivia Carter’s name, which I was already on the fence about since I’m planning on writing a book about Liv from Heartwaves, and while some friends had convinced me that Olivia and Liv had different enough vibes that this would be acceptable, when I remembered that Mal’s ex was also Olivia and a briefly-mentioned store in Donut Summer is named Olivia’s, and I have an Olive thrown in there—enough, Me! Who knew I even liked this name that much! Am I sad about discovering this, yes, because even though none of you have read Where the Light Hits yet I’m already attached to how the love interest says Olivia Carter’s name. But I will persevere.
Now, does it likely matter to literally anyone else if I have multiple Olivias in my books, or re-use certain names, especially side characters? No. I know this. But it matters to me. I want every character on my pages, no matter how briefly they’re there, to be their own.
In Official Author Newsletter Business, Donut Summer has a release date: July 29th! Thank the publishing gods, my summer romance will be released at the HEIGHT of summer. Sometimes things are good.
It should also be available to pre-order on most sites, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or your local indie…although I will let you know about an official pre-order campaign in the coming months if you’re interested in signed copies/whatever swag I think of from a local indie of my own.
You can also add it on Goodreads!
This month was also notable in my donut world because I recently sent the manuscript to a bunch of authors I admire for possible blurbs, which felt like a Moment to me (that I could probably write about in another newsletter sometime), as I haven’t had the energy to actually ask many folks for blurbs in…a long time. And Ellen O’Clover, an actual author hero of mine, already got back to me with my First Official YA Blurb and her words were so kind that it was one of those “huh, maybe this is worth it” moments that I find myself really needing. So while I won’t share the actual blurb just yet—thanks for that, Ellen.
Reading (& Writing) Life
Holy shit this newsletter is already so long; you don’t even want to know how much else I planned to talk about!! lol but let me at least talk about a book I fuckin’ loved.
(Ideally, I will talk about a book I loved recently in every newsletter from here on out, even if that brings me stress: what if I read a friend’s book in that “recently” stretch of time and then it hurts their feelings if I don’t mention it? I made a “most anticipated books releasing in January” post on Instagram this month and only later realized I missed like, five books from people I admire and am friendly with and I still feel like shit about it! So: I think I will limit the books I discuss in depth to books that inspired my own writing for personal reasons as opposed to just “favorite books” and also books written by people I don’t know whatsoever. Because while it can be surprising how small the writerly world can feel, I do think it’s exceedingly important for me to continue reading books by people I don’t know at all.)
I feel like everyone who has read The Wedding People has loved it, so none of my thoughts are particularly unique here (but why the fuck do I care? why did I even write that sentence? I loved it, so it is personal to me. I’m working on this kind of shit). If you don’t know, it’s about a woman who goes to a fancy hotel in Newport to kill herself, only to be waylaid by all the wedding people who are also temporarily inhabiting the hotel.
As someone who has likely struggled with depression my whole life, I personally loved the frankness with which suicide was discussed here. (That said, I also knew that was the deal going in—hopefully you did, too, if you’ve read it, as that could obviously be a very big trigger.) I liked how often the main character said it out loud, how honestly it was spoken of throughout, at the same time that it wasn’t romanticized as I think certain literary work can sometimes do. Like, Alison Espach didn’t write about a suicidal person because it was poetic or pretty or deep. Alison Espach wrote about a character who was fucking depressed. Depression and suicidal thoughts aren’t deep. They just fucking suck. They’re just fucking sad.
And that sadness came through here. But this book was also funny, and real, and about love, and the beauty of being alive. A literary book that is also funny and earnest and about being alive is the kind of book that has influenced me most throughout my life, that I just can’t get enough of (see also: Steven Rowley). I often have a hard time finding books that really tow that line well, though (the line between beautiful and pretentious), because I think it takes an incredibly talented person to tow it! I know I’ve found that kind of literary book when I get to the last page and I know, I know that the author has ended it at the exact right spot, in the exact right way, but the selfish overindulgent part of me is still SO BUMMED. Because I don’t want to say goodbye to them yet! Because I LOVE THEM. And I want to get to see them live through all the good stuff that comes next! (Which, of course, is why I love romance novels. Romance novels often let me revel in the good stuff, and thank fucking god for that.)
The morning after I finished this book, I sat down and wrote five thousand words of my own. Which is not at all normal for me: I typically feel pretty good if I can get any word count over five hundred in a single stint/day. I knew that this weirdly productive writing day was Alison Espach-inspired, and it made me think about an author panel I was on once, where we were asked about the act of reading-while-writing, which can be a tricky balance: I know a lot of writers who don’t read at all while they’re drafting, so as not to get overly influenced or distracted from their own voice. I remember Alicia Thompson (at least I’m pretty sure it was Alicia; I remember because I sat next to her on a couch and I played with this fun pillow in my lap the whole time and then in every picture from the event I was just like why did I think hugging that pillow the whole time was cute lol but anyway) saying something about how sometimes she likes reading books she really loves while she’s drafting because it helps inspire her to write better. And I said something about how I can’t read authors I know I love while I’m drafting because it just makes me hate myself.
And I think I knew, even in the moment, that Alicia’s answer was better. But I think every self-deprecating answer I can look back on and frown a bit about is a victory, and I’m frowning a bit at myself this week as I think about The Wedding People and my five thousand word day. Is there probably a decent amount of overly-Alison-Espach-inspired prose in those five thousand words? Sure. But who cares? They’re still words I got down on the page. They’re still words I can make more and more my own in the first round of edits, and every round after that.
I think what I’m realizing is that when I’m inspired to write more after reading a book I’ve really loved, it’s not even necessarily about wanting to replicate that author’s style, or do what they did (even if that inevitably seeps in, a little). It’s that it helps me to trust myself. Like fuck, Alison Espach trusted herself to write this whole fucking book and I loved every bit of it. I can trust myself to pour out every bit of my story, too. Because that’s what matters: the story. When I’m opening up a manuscript after just reading a great book, that’s easy to remember. When I’m opening up a manuscript after scrolling social media or reading my emails or looking at Goodreads or feeling despondent about the world, it’s a whole lot murkier. The words come a whole lot slower. I’ve lost my trust with myself.
And if there’s one thing we gotta do in 2025, it’s trusting ourselves.
xo
anita
this newsletter was great. sending lots of love from the UK <3
I love your openness and raw honesty. It helps people feel less alone.