Hi, everyone. Are you okay? Are you not okay? Both? Yeah, me too.
Iām mainly writing this because I miss writing words, in general, and I want to say hi, and I havenāt done an update in a while. So if you are interested in the progress of things, this is where Iām at:
I signed an agent contract with Kim Lionetti of BookEnds Literary. She has a ton of experience in both editing and agenting and so far has been nothing but kind and gentle with me which is exactly what I need. Her most famous client is Helen Hoang, who was also kind and gentle with me in the few emails we exchanged while I was making my decision. She signed her last email to me with just a heart and āHā which signaled to me that we were friends basically. (Jokes. I am not friends with Helen Hoang.) Overall, I have been surprised at how many people in this whole process have been kind and gentle. (Some have not been. But those have been lessons too.)
I did a few more edits of my book with Kim, and now I am āon sub.ā Everything about publishing is sort of shadowy and weird, and youāre supposed to keep almost everything secret except for when actual contracts are signed, but I think itās fine to tell the fifteen of you who are going to read this whatās actually happening. Being on sub means that publishers have my book. Kimās sent it to all of the āBig 5ā NYC publishers & a few other romance heavy ones. And now I wait and see if anyone likes it enough to buy it. Iāve had one (kind and gentle) rejection and an āenjoying the read so far!ā update from another thus far. That second editor also requested āblurbsā for two possible future projects. These were both fun and stressful to work on with Kim. Because after the validation of Pitch Wars, I accept that my book thatās on sub is All Right Probably, but what if the rest of my ideas suck? And pitching them with someone Iām still getting to know (getting to know your agent feels like very awkward dating) was even more nerve wracking. But Kim, in her kind and gentle way, didnāt say they sucked, and sent them off to that editor, and the process started to make me actually excited for those future projects. Which is good, because ever since this whole worldwide crisis thing started, I have sort of forgotten how to do words.
Blurbs for future projects are exchanged with editors to see if thereās a possibility of signing a multi-book deal. Like, we trust you so much that weāre going to lock you in to write one or two more books for us, too, even if you havenāt actually written them yet. It also ensures that those subsequent books will get published faster. Because of how slow publishing moves, even if your debut book is a blockbuster, getting another contract signed for your second book could take years longer. So a multi-book deal is definitely the optimal thing, but how common they are really depends on your genre. They are more common in romance because the romance reader base is so steady and loyal, so publishers can trust that readers will keep reading your books/itās a less risky investment. Because romance readers are the best.
Considering that all these editors live in NYC, which is in unprecedented daily crisis right now, Iām not holding my breath about hearing anything definite soon. You can be on sub for a really long time. And if your first round ends in all rejection, you can either submit to other, smaller publishers, or revise some more and re-submit. I am still checking my email more than is necessary, hoping for good news, but honestly I feel okay with whatever happens. Increasingly, I wonder if I actually want to go with a smaller publisher. Because thereās a lot of pressure with big publishers, to be marketable, to output consistent work, and in my daydreams, I could be as weird and queer as I wanted with smaller publishers, even if it inevitably meant far less money. But itās still nice to be able to aspire that big publishers want weird queer romance too, you know?
So thatās where Iām at, where Iāll likely be for a while.
You would think that being out of work for over a month now due to COVID-19, I would have gotten a lot of writing done on those future projects I just mentioned, but that would be a big nope. I am quietly, very, very slowly, starting to fall in love with my WIP (work-in-progress) again, but most of my time has been spent taking care of our toddler full time and feeling strange.
The one thing I have been able to do over the last month is read. I mean, I am always reading, pretty much, but how intensely Iām reading comes and goes in waves, and during all of Pitch Wars, my writing life was so all consuming that I didnāt have a lot of time to read. And now that my writing life is a bit quiet, my reading brain is on, full steam, and it is soā¦beautiful.
Writing, trying to get published is such a mindfuck. You get so consumed withā¦I donāt know, the process, bullshit, self-consciousness, ego. And sometimes it bleeds over to my reading life, which is really unfortunate. Like instead of losing myself in the story, Iām wondering how the author outlined this story, what beat sheets they used, what their process was like with their agent and their editor, and then I flip to the acknowledgments to see who their agent and editor are and then Iām like oh, them, because I know almost all the names now, and itās ugh, so dumb.
But the reading Iāve been doing during quarantine is just unabashed, old school me reading. In this level of reading, even though I know that authorās road to getting this book publishedāno matter what kind of book it isāwas probably hard and complicated and full of self-doubt but in my blissful readerās mind, all I think about is how they wrote this naturally fantastic storyālike the words probably just fell right out of their eyeballs!āand it made me so very very happy for a number of hours and I love them for that and I love their characters with my entire heart.
This is why I love being a librarian, too. Itās so outside of the actual publishing process; we just get to reap the rewards. We just get to be fangirls and fanboys and fanpeople. We just get to buy books and shout about books and make fun displays about books. And I need that! That reminder that even if nothing I ever write myself gets published, I justā¦I love books. I love books so fucking much. My love of books is pure, unabashed, and completely uncomplicated.
I am having some low-level panic, then, about how even though Iām supposed to be āworking from homeā I have been pretty useless as a virtual librarian, and budgets for next year arenāt looking great, and maybe Iāll lose this dream life Iāve been leading. Because I canāt really imagine ever not being a writer and a librarian, anymore.
But thereās nothing I can do about that right now. I canāt make my brain work better and be a better virtual librarian. To prove that Iām worth it. I mean, maybe I can. I donāt know.
What I do know is that I have dived hardcore into romance comfort reads this last month to help me survive, catching up on all my favorite authorsā backlists, which I could ramble all about forever but *bites fist* they are so good. They are all so dirty and smart and sweet and emotional and perfect and I love them so much.
I also brought home bags and bags of middle grade and young adult books from work, before work shut down, and Iām remembering why I love those, too. Almost every middle grade book I read makes me cry. Every single middle grade author is just. Like. A genius? And there is literally no other age category in all of published literature that is doing as much creatively and with as much diversity as young adult, soā¦yeah. Thereās a reason young adultās a thing. I just sort of cackle at anyone who makes fun of young adult for being immature or whatever because they just sound so fucking dumb and boring.
And have I told you about how much I love picture books? You donāt even know. I think every single teenager and adult should be required to read a picture book a week and we would all be so much better. Justā¦better. Happier and more emotionally balanced.
Iām also hoping to start getting caught up on comic books and graphic novels, soon. Which is a whole other topic for a whole other day, like, how people even make those! What the hell! GENIUSES! And maybe some non-fiction, to get that side of my brain functioning better again. Do you know how smart non-fiction writers are? Damn.
I love books. All of them. Except, you know, ones written by assholes. 90% of the rest, though.
But I love romance books the best.
I hope that, even while it feels like the world is burning and everything is so okay-not okay, you have your own equivalent of romance novels to help get you through. Thereās nothing wrong with escaping into those things, if weāre able. And if youāre not ableā¦itās understandable. I love you & Iām sorry.
But if you want me to recommend you some mindless smut, I will.
xo
Anita